Of late, I have been focusing more on bringing a deeper care to others in the moments I am with them, making relationships about connection first. A lot has come up for me to feel around this, to be exposed and also to be fully appreciated.
Of course this level of deep care is something that behind the scenes I need to be sharing with myself first from the way I treat myself, care for myself, honour my feelings and support everything about me to remain with my inner beauty.
We all know that we cannot, for example, be love with another or consider another if we are not love or are considerate with ourselves first. The quality must be actively practiced in the body, otherwise it is simply an action from the mind.
Relationships for me of late have been taking on another flavor. I feel I have been able to just be myself more with people, be supporting of what the moment is calling for and be there as needed with others. At times this could just be, being open and surrendered in a moment with another while we are speaking, or it may be expressing absolute appreciation for them, or simply walking by them in my fullness and saying a genuine hello, or being the person who consistently calls to ask how everything is going, or it might be giving that smile from the heart that absolutely lights another up and makes their day. These moments may look different and take different forms, but the quality they come from is the same.
Making relationships about being deeply caring with others has not only highlighted to me, just how much we as a society can waste our time and lives away by being dismissive, holding life from our hurts, being about self and not thinking of the whole in life. It has also allowed me to see and appreciate just how any opportunities we are given with people each and everyday. The more I see and appreciate this, the more I realise how many there are and also how many I have wasted in the past.
Every moment and every encounter has been an opportunity for me to just be at ease, in my fullness and completely in the moment with another. Sometimes I feel this to be very natural and sometimes I can feel a slight uncomfortable-ness as I get reacquainted with this depth of relating, and as I am further called to let go of old patterns of protection. Relating with this depth feels completely natural when I allow myself to fully surrender and be with the moment in full. I can feel that my body is actually calling for this level in relationships now.
The more I play and bring this level of depth, the more I realise what we are all actually capable of in our relationships when we so choose it. And it is there instantly. This brought the question up of . . . ‘Why do we bring our all, do what is needed and bring deep care to others which we know they are close to passing over?’
Sometimes I see we can also get to a point, which may come toward the end of our lives or near very testing moments, where we realise that life is too short to bring worry, hurts, untowardness in at the expense of connecting with people.
This question made me consider and see that every single human being has the potential to do this, that this deep care for others is actually innate within us all and we all do know how insignificant our grievances and hurts actually are when we can so easily put them aside and make life about people in these moments. However, it’s almost like we have to get pushed to a point of devastation before we allow our grand love to just have space to be and to be between us, and another. Some would call this the ‘human’ part of the human being, for the ‘being’ part would not allow such separation.
So here we can ask . . .
’Why do we not choose this love and relationship with others all of the time?
Why do we choose to stay in the lessening and the mundaneness over the lovely and deep connections that absolutely make every particle in our bodies bubble with joy?’
What would life be like if we constantly chose to live each moment with others as if it was our last with them, bringing that deep care, so that everything always felt complete and there was nothing unexpressed?
When I felt this, I wanted to bring more depth to my moments with others whether they be someone I just met or someone I have known for a while. Depth in relationships is a choice, when we are pushed to put the protection aside, we can do so easily.
In society and with the human part of us, there is a seeded ignorance that on some level we accept and act like taking people for granted or taking our hurts out on them is ok. The way we actually behave with each other is so far off from the truth of who we are.
Now what would our whole world be like if each and everyone of us took this absolute responsibility to bring our love and joy to every encounter no matter how the other chose to be?
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education (Major Special Needs, Minor Psychology), Graduate Certificate of Early Childhood, Studying Diploma of Counselling, Esoteric Complementary Health Practitioner, Woman, Teacher, Mother, Wife and Friend